Saturday, January 29, 2011

anxious

For pity's sake, I am a grown woman!  Oh sorry....I'm having a conversation with myself.  Hang on a sec, please?  Thanks.  ......"I'm good enough.  I'm smart enough and doggone it!  People like me!"  ........

Hmmmm...it's not working yet.  Ok well...I might as well come out with it.  I am terrified.  I am psyching myself up for this and I KNOW when it's all over, I will have had a blast and feel totally at ease.   You are probably wondering, "what is she doing or having to psych herself up for?"  I'll tell you.  I have been invited to a get together tonight.  The woman who invited me, I know totally loves me, as I do her.  Her invitation is an answer to prayer really, because I don't know how in the heck to meet people in the town I live in...and I love it here....but I haven't been able to figure it out.  Hubby and I had this problem, in our former town.  Back there, we invited a group of 5 couples to our home for a New Year's Eve party. [which was postponed because I got walking pneumonia.  Rescheduled date was some time in February.]  We did not know them except to say "hi" to them and since they were the  group that was consistent in saying, "Hi!" back to us when we'd see them around town, they were our ages, and at a similar station in life, with the kids, we decided "Spouse, let's shoot the moon [euchre term] and see what happens."  We had lived there for 2 1/2 years and finally we were desperate.  Despite me drinking entirely too much cheap, red wine - we made a great group of friends after that night.

Anyway - my friend's invite for this evening, is so welcomed!  Now that I'm staring the clock down for when I'm to leave for it...I'm pooping my pants.  Am I supposed to feel like it's my first day of high school in a new town?  UM.....I do not believe so.  By this time in my life, I think I'm supposed to be past worrying about how I hate my hair and I'm sure no one will take me seriously because I'm overweight and that I'm positive I grew another chin this afternoon.

 This....all this inner dialogue that I have with myself...is crap.  SO....I'm writing this in my blog to expose it once and for all, realizing that it is normal to be nervous to meet new peers.  It is normal to hope new friendships will blossom from this evening's outing and it is normal that not everyone will think I'm the bees's knees.  And that is ok.  More than that, my lovely friend who invited me is awesome and I know the people she hangs with must be awesome too.  I am in safe company and I'm going to first, exhale.  Second, get ready.  Third, drive over to her house.  Fourth, sit down, relax and be open for an absolutely fabulous time of meeting other women from our town and learn about their interests.  Fifth, I do not have to cater to hubby or son's needs and whims tonight.   !?!?!?  :I    :)     :D    It's gonna be awesome! 

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