Ok. So, today is when Hubby and Son are back to their normal routines, which really means I have allowed that to affect MY normal routine and not doing what I normally do every morning. I haven't exercised, haven't been blogging, most importantly....I have not been bustin' a move daily. Without a doubt, Ellen DeGeneres is onto something with the dancing on her show. It is my favorite part of her show, when I get to watch. Have you done this or tried this? Just crank up the iPod and turn into a whirling dervish across the floors of your home? I can do it with Jacob around. I feel child-like and love to see my kid with his mad dance skillz and hear him giggle at how his mama actually can move and has been a closet choreographer.....her whole life. haha....I say that with sarcasm. I can move and I've been a closet choreographer...only more styled for The Brady's. ;) [jazz square right, arms up into a V] Point is, I haven't allowed myself to totally bare my soul, in that way, to my husband. Why? I don't know. He "caught" me one time, years ago and I was mortified, I started bawling and freaking out hysterically. He assured me I didn't need to be self-conscious about it. Oh...I forgot to tell you the part where I was using the knife sharpener from our knives set, as a microphone and belting it out to Christina Aguilara "Fighter ". See? I've been a big dreamer for a looooonnnngggg time. I have one friend, from my childhood that walked in on me pretending with my curling iron, in front of my mirror, while we were in high school. You know who you are. You needn't expound. ;)
....Back to today. Today, I was transparently impatient for my guys to get out the door this morning. I think, getting to dance and sing at the top of my lungs is an act of intimacy only for my spirit. I fight feeling guilty about it, but I think it's the act of building up my spirit. As I danced to Pink and Raise Your Glass - a pure flash came into my head..just a flash. The detail, in that flash, was profound. It was my Levi dancing in a cloth diaper with Pink's baby that she miscarried. [whistle from high to low] He was just dancing, nodding his head, giving Pink baby the kudos on his rockin' mom that wrote and delivered a song that he can watch his mama get free with. I understand, I have a vivid imagination, but I'm not gonna defend it. This flash happened. It brought me comfort and joy this morning.
I also feel like it's time to get equipped for doing something big. Why not? It has to be inspired though...it can't be drummed up and droned on. Like my baking business, I taught myself all of that. I took no training and I was inefficient. I was inspired to do it, but it wasn't married with the real know-how that builds confidence. I am inspired to do many things and now I'm learning at almost 34 the tenacity to see the training through. All I can say is "Thank you God that I'm not waiting any later to learn discipline and stick-to-it-ive-ness!" We are created IN HIS image. I am born from a love that knows no bounds, with a purpose all my own, which the world needs. So are you! We are going to grasp this invisible, tangible truth this year! Why the heck not!?
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