Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Deflated, but on task.

Hi there.  Now, is the real test.  I feel that.  I know it. With the pending due date out there and the void of it - I'm struggling.  I previously spoke of jumping hurdles.  Robot mode has expired, for me.  I almost feel like the reality of grief and the anger associated with grief is just now happening.  I'll be fine.  I'm putting this all out there, in the hopes, that some woman, that experiences these waves of grief when losing her baby, will find comfort that she is not going insane.  All of it is real and all of it is lonely and all of it has a purpose to be sought out, few understand, but there are a few.  To the future women that come across this blog, experiencing miscarriage or stillbirth or abortion of the pregnancy to save your own life - please feel free to email me.  I am praying for you and I want you to feel special - because you still are. 

This week, I am buying painting supplies to paint artwork for our walls.  It's a task I am setting in front of me, that will outlet creativity and have something, authentically me, to show for the time that I just want to lay on the sofa. 

No comments:

Post a Comment