Wednesday, February 2, 2011


Tears.  Tears of gratitude, tears of emptiness, tears of frustration, tears of broken dreams, tears of joy that you joined us at all.

I feel it closing in.  I wish I did not yet I am so glad I do.  I wish there was some warning for when the grief will take over, but instead of trying to plan it all out, I think I'll just live it, endure it, bear it and come through it.  Somehow,  I feel like I get to experience something so special...profound...your presence growing inside and then your absence. 

My arms are empty, but you were too big to hold in my arms anyway.  The way you've touched my life, the way God has touched my life...He gave you to us, to call ours.  Nothing, not even you not being here will take that away.  I know this, and I know there's more to do, more to be, more to experience.  I yearn to make you proud.  I hunger for a breakthrough of epic proportions into the heavenlies, right here where we are.  Until that happens, I will be diligent to do what I know to do and to exercise discipline and to hack the fat and waste in every area of my life.  There is more....there is more. 

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