Monday, February 7, 2011

20 weeks

At 20 weeks since losing Levi, I find that the time went too fast.  I still long for the nearness of Sept. 20th when he was alive, inside of me.  Some may find it weird, but I really took advantage of those hours before I knew he'd be leaving my body and going to Heaven.  Levi and I were alone, in the doctor's office.  Those hours, are what I long for.  I believe somehow he knew all that I was saying to him and trying to radiate around him.  I miss the confidence that he definitely knew how I felt about him.  I can say and wish things to him now...but does he hear?  Does he know?  I don't know...but incase he can and does, I do it anyway. 

Last night, Jacob and daddy were snuggling on the sofa.  Jacob is such a delight.  He cracks us up.  He's so animated and full of life and willfulness.  Out of the blue, Jacob says, "Some families are big.  Our family is small.  Some families have 3, some have 5."  Of course, I'm sitting in the recliner, flabbergasted at such a topic, coming up so randomly, without warning - cuz I hurt for how he wants siblings.  He is such a cool kid and he ought to be a big brother.  But I also love that he wants to be a big brother.  Daddy said to Jacob, "We're doing our best to get you a brother or a sister, bud."  Jacob said, "Ya!  But right after my sister, can you get me a brother?"  [I'm all melty and teary, right now typing this out, as well as last night when he was putting in his requests.]  Steve looks at me, I look at him and nothing has to be said...we just feel it all.  Jacob nestles back in, next to his daddy and says, "I love our family." 

Today, we will be making Valentines and we have dentist appointments.  After that, I have a whole list of items to barrel through.  I don't think I'll do any barreling though.  I think I've done enough barreling for today.  A new magazine subscription from my darling SIL arrived today.  The Food Network magazine.  =)  Couldn't have arrived at a better time. 

But I really started this post today with the intention to share a few of my favorite recipes with you: 

Krispy Log
Take a piece of wax paper, lay it in a jelly roll pan, spray with cooking spray.

1/4 c. butter, 1/4 c. peanut butter, 10oz. bag of marshmallows.  Put in the microwave and heat until they mix together smoothly.  Add 8-10 cups of rice krispies and mix well.  Spread out on the jelly roll pan. 

Melt a bag of chocolate chips and spread over top of the rice krispy mixture.  Roll the treat, length-wise to the other side of the pan.  Set in fridge for one hour and ta da!  A krispy log....so yummy!

Taco Bean Dip

Beat together an 8 oz. package of cream cheese and a can of refried beans and a taco seasoning packet.  Fold in a 8oz. container of sour cream. Spread out in a large serving dish, shallow enough to dip chips easily enough.  Top with cheddar cheese, shredded lettuce, diced tomatoes and black olives. You could add jalapeno peppers and onions too.  Serve with tortilla chips.  Then, be prepared to NOT sleep with your spouse.  ;)  Sorry, couldn't resist. 






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