Thursday, on our way home from preschool, Jacob randomly said, "I can't wait to be a daddy with my own son someday!" This is a remarkable tribute to the kind of daddy HIS daddy is, and I am their biggest fan. Jacob's frustration erupted while he was trying to understand that he'll have his own family, and when that happens, I will be getting older [God bless him.], and getting older to him means that I'll die. Since the loss of Levi, death is a topic which comes up about every other week. These outbursts of how he processes life's mysteries always catch me off guard. I have to shake my brain in it's cage and do a couple of armpit farts, in order, to get out of my head and release the inner child to explain, so it makes sense, but isn't information overload or scary to him. Jacob says, "But Mama, when I have my own son and Mommy [his future wife], you will be old and die!" I said something like this - I'd be a liar if I wrote that I remember word for word. "Honeypie! Yes, everyday, I get older, but it takes a lot of years to get old. [I did not tell him the older I get, the faster the years fly past me. That is scary! ;) ] Mommy and Daddy's mommies are still young and healthy and happy, your Grandma Diers and Mimi! Besides, don't you worry about me. When you have your very own wife, she'll be the most important woman in your life, and you'll be happy. You'll be older too, ya know and tall like daddy!" I watched his face, in my rearview mirror, as I turned onto Terrace Drive. His mouth changed from turned down and started to creep upward, which makes his cheeks move higher and then he smacked his hands together and said, " Ya! And then my wife's tummy will get humongous and a baby will kick out! Awww....I will have my very own son!"
Now...I'm teary. His facial expressions are so beautiful and it reminds me of when we told him about Levi, which will be another post. His face and eyes tell me that he "got it". No further explanation required at this time. I've always said that becoming a parent, for me, means that I will learn more than I ever teach Jacob. I learn more about myself - history, present and future. I learn more about my relationship with my Creator. I learn more about my parents. I'm so blessed with a brilliant, bright light that is Jacob.
- ► 2012 (34)
- ► 2011 (73)
- A few "Why nots" to become "Oh ya, that happened i...
- Holidays 2010
- Levi, part of me is missing and with you. This mo...
- a poem
- "This baby just wants to be seen today"
- What excites me!
- Why not?
- Faith like a child
- New slate
- a few of my favorite things...
- No matter what....
- Writer's Block
- ▼ December (15)