Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Life–I choose life.

Yesterday, we had our 12 week appointment, unexpectedly. I’ve had spotting for the past 10 days and yesterday it was more than that. My appointment was originally scheduled for this morning. I debated just waiting because for some strange reason I have this phobia of being a pain in the ass, and asking for help.  After I kicked my own butt, I called the doctor and an hour and a half later was having another ultrasound and exam.

Sweet Pea is awesome. I have now made a pact with Sweet Pea and our Maker that I’m in this for the duration, that I realize how much fear wants to trap me and bring a different result than the dream. Faith says if I believe, God says, if I ask I shall receive – and so those are tried and tested principles that I choose instead of the scary fear. They were able to determine why I’m having the bleeding – it’s a hemorrhage where the placenta is growing over the cervix. I trust that the hemorrhage will dry up and the placenta will shift upward. None of this causes any alarm for the baby. In fact, I call him or her my dancing, swimming child. What joy it was to see this tiny [2 inch from crown to rump] life swim towards the camera, do a back flip and quicker than the blink of an eye, see his or her feet swimming away from me. It’s almost like Sweet Pea was saying, in a very high voice, “Hi mom!  Look at me!” We love S.P. so much. Look at our baby…

Scan

As for me, I’ve been asked by doctor to really limit my activity and to rest. Basically, I was given license yesterday, to put me first. I’m going to. I eat well, I drink lots of water and milk. Hubby told me last night that I’m not having a garage sale in two weeks. So, box by box, I’ll just donate it to Goodwill.  Even better, really.

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