The past 10 days have been a real test. When the time is right, I will expound on what the test has been. The important part – this morning, after another heartbreak, [incase anyone is worrying or jumping to conclusions about my health or my Sweet Pea – we are perfectly fine.] Sun has struck my soul and my spirit is in in control again.
I was faced with the question this morning, “Do I guard my heart or do I just flippin’ go ape shit on these morons and harden it and recount every rejection, every hurt, every hole they have bore into my soul?” Hmmm…given the way I just channeled the emotion, that’s a rather large indicator to choose to NOT do that. It doesn’t make it easy to weed through- in the pursuit of wisdom, freedom and truth. And then, just like Gandalf’s staff in Return of the King, as he goes out to offer protection to the returning soldiers of Gondor, from the hoards of hellish Mordor, getting ready to march on Gondor – a blazing flash of light pierced my mind and a totally different thought entered my head. One that offered peace and complete retreat of all the darkness and offense that was fighting pretty hard to keep me “stuck”.
I thank Jesus for being that beacon – Greater is He that is in me, than He that is in the world. We are more than souls. Our souls are like the décor to where our spirit resides. I will not decorate with concrete blocks and iron bars. I love you God.