Tuesday, January 17, 2012

No more Spanx!

Bennett is down for a nap. Jacob is at school, following a 3 day weekend with family here to visit. Hubby is back to work after the weekend too.

I open my blog and see it is two months since I last posted! I will never be able to fill you in on all that has transpired in that time. So, I am just going to pick up - like an old friend that you only see once, in a great while - right where we left off. :)

Bennett is going to be 4 months old in a week! It has been the fastest, blurriest, robotic 4 months of my life. Many told me, while I was expecting, that I would be amazed at the differences between my boys. I cannot get over it. I love it! My darlings are vastly different and yet being 5 years apart, they're little puzzle pieces, in our family, fit together perfectly. Jacob is doing well in Kindergarten. He is sounding out words that he sees and reading them regularly. It's remarkable. With that said, I miss him a lot, every day. I enjoyed Christmas break so much - the longest period of time when I had my sons together. I also had my hubby home over the break. I miss him every day too. We hope to eventually spend most of our days together with our boys. I don't know how this will transpire, but it's a dream of ours.  *Charming* folks will tell us, "You don't get to do that until you retire." Well, that response is simply not good enough. We like each other very much and we are proud of our little family and any with that response may suck on sour grapes when my love and I have figured out how to do this. ;)

What are your goals or visions for this year of 2012? If you remember, after Levi, I had become far more aware of my unhealthy eating and decided instead of a diet, it would be a lifestyle change. I was pregnant from February to September of 2011. I gained weight with the pregnancy, which was very frustrating because of the weight loss I had prior to getting pregnant. Two weeks after having Bennett, I was down to pre-pregnancy weight. Then, Bennett and I left the NICU and I had to cook my own meals. DRATS! I managed to cook a meal almost every night - which now that I type it out loud - I have to say that is rather remarkable. However, my breakfast and lunch was whatever was handy. I've gained 9 lbs. of the 27lbs. I had lost after Bennett was born. :( I have not been exercising. I told myself after Levi, and I was like a machine of taking time for myself and taking care of myself, that I'd never "go back" to dreading exercise or eating right. Well, I did not keep that commitment to myself. I despise the way I feel! AND the weight I've gained is all in the weirdest places. I attribute the strange placement of fat to recently having a baby. Even, as I type this post, I am sitting here chowing down on celery..........and delicious buffalo chicken dip....and now that I'm out of celery, I am using tostitos.....scoops........ :( !  Now that I've exposed myself and made confessions, it is time to be accountable and really visualize what I want for my health and the health of my family.
For a long time, I have wondered if so many diseases are related to the processed, preservative-filled, convenient food we all have settled for and told ourselves we "love". HOWEVER, I would love, far more, to be able to buy a cute dress and know that I'd look sassy and sexy without heaving my thighs into a pair of Spanx and then repressing gas all night long because even the gas is trapped in my fat and lycra. ;) [Oh...it feels good to share what I imagine! ;) ]

I say all of that to say this:  This year,

  • I will have an organic garden, which I will blog about.
  • I am buying a juicer after watching Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead on netflix instant stream. I dare you to watch it too, if you haven't already.
  • I have taken the Blue Zones Personal Pledge [www.bluezonesproject.com]
  • I will be healthier by being 80lbs. lighter this time next year.
My weight loss is not only so that I can enjoy clothes shopping again. It's because I need to be the example to my boys that we can and should enjoy food and cooking and baking, but I want to enjoy them and I have dreams of my own to accomplish yet! I am in no way, the best version of myself, by hiding behind weight. I'm a diva on the inside. Only those who know me well, know that. I was too afraid to play Dance Central on the xbox kinect this past weekend because I didn't want to knock anyone out with my jiggling. I love to dance! I totally jipped myself. :( I mean seriously...the world needs the next Thirty-Something, Mama of boys, Fly-Girl. Well, maybe they don't...but I need to feel the freedom to let it all hang out and all the hanging out is not supposed to be my flesh. It's supposed to be my own creativity, my own zeal for life.
Stay tuned.....and for those that are not my friends on Facebook...here are some pics of my Darlings.....

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