Thursday, July 21, 2011

What I needed to read today.

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters, compared to what lies within us."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I draw comfort from this today. When past hurts and my present collide, I feel like a battle, with front lines and the works line up to face off. When this happens, I instantly feel smothered, stifled, weak and like a  failure. I have learned that the problem is never with the situation or scenario masked as my opposition. The problem is the opposition within myself. Why? Because I'm stifling the greatness inside, yes, I dared to say greatness - for distractions, "tiny matters" strategically placed to keep me hindered, bridled and trapped. So, this morning, I picked up a book that I sometimes pick up and read tidbits titled, The Artist's Way. Mind you, I have not delved wholeheartedly, into this book because I'm actually afraid of it. I about fell out of my chair when I randomly opened the book to page 7 and read the bulleted points. I'm going to share it with you:

"Do you tell yourself that if only you took your creative potential seriously, you might:
  • Stop telling yourself, "It's too late."
  • Stop waiting until you make enough money to do something you'd really love.
  • Stop telling yourself, "It's just my ego" whenver you yearn for a more creative life.
  • Stop telling yourself that dreams don't matter, that they are only dreams and that you should be more sensible.
  • Stop fearing that your family and friends would think you crazy.
  • Stop telling yourself that creativity is a luxury and that you should be grateful for what you've got."

I do not know what to write next, for fear of tremendous vulnerability and putting myself in place of easy judgment. So maybe, instead of writing out of emotion, I'll leave it at that. Now, I have to determine what action to take. God help me not get so wrapped up in the day to day hub-bub of tasks and chores and bury the creativity that presents itself, in these tasks through this weekend. In the meantime, I will set aside time to read this book, each day and follow Julia Cameron's instruction. Sounds like the perfect first step...and simple to incorporate in my day.


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