9 weeks to go

I have not been practicing to keep it cool and go with the flow. Physically, I’m not doing anything I can’t do because I literally tucker out so fast. I know that compared to many other pregnant mommies I sound like a big baby. WAAAAAAAHAAAHAAAAWAAAA! I am quite uncomfortable the past 4 days and I’m trying to say to myself, “ONLY 9 weeks to go! ” instead of “Holy shit – 9 weeks to go. "  I was talking to my mom on the phone last night. The thought occurred to me that I have 10 more days until my Boy Wonder starts kindergarten and every day I’ve been beating myself up over the stuff I’d want to have done before baby brother arrives. Guess what I did this morning? I determined to only do stuff with Jacob. My dirty dishes from last night aren’t even done yet today. I will have 6 hours a day to get things done while he is in school in 10 days. SO…..we played Candy Land in bed this morning. He let me nap off and on because I am exhausted. He stayed by me and watched a movie. I’d wake up and he was right there. The one time he had made me a “Fire Exit Strategy” paper. I went and got the Flip camera to record him because I knew I’d want to have that for posterity. He made his own buttered toast this morning. It’s amazing watching  him do these things. I’m feeling guilt because I’m not outside with him in this gorgeous weather. I just need more energy. Tomorrow, I have a doctor appointment. It’s the glucose screening. I imagine the blood work will reveal I have low iron. I was taking iron a while ago, but it was having some strange effects and so I decided, “Well, maybe I won’t need it this time!” It’s not a wonder that the only thing I crave is red meat!

I do have a standard, in mind, of how I want the house to be by the time Sweet Pea arrives. Why? Because it is how I am built. I’m just giving up the carrying out of this vision and guilt of not getting it done while I  have my Boy Wonder at home. So, I may be calling on a few of you to come help me. If nothing else, it would be fun to have someone to laugh and talk with while I take on these tasks.

Major relief came yesterday when Hubby and I decided on a name. Ha! No! We are not sharing. It is the surprise we like to make everyone wait for. It does feel good to know we have it mostly decided. I love it. I absolutely love it. I am so excited to see my Jacob and his baby brother and to hold them against me, together, for the first time. There are no words, only glossy eyes.