Tuesday, April 17, 2012

To do what one loves....

takes training, practice, years. I have loved writing on my blog and am out of practice and would very much love to continue with my blog. However, I trust my instinct for topics to write about, in this moment, as much as I trust a fickle person. ;) Allow me to share a very short chapter from an excellent book, which I am reading over and over again, called The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. It may sound familiar -  it is a book that propelled me into scratching the surface of being.....me, shortly after losing Levi.

"A Professional Acts In The Face Of Fear" p. 79 of The War of Art:

The Amateur believes he must first overcome his fear; then he can do his work. The professional knows that fear can never be overcome. He knows there is no such thing as a fearless warrior or a dread-free artist.
What Henry Fonda does, after puking into the toilet in his dressing room, is to clean up and march out onstage. He's still terrified but he forces himself forward in spite of his terror. He knows that once he gets out into the action, his fear will recede and he'll be okay.

In light of me being out of practice of writing/blogging/creativity - I am reading this book from cover to cover almost daily to spark the fire of creating again. I no longer want to fear being a stay at home mom, of being an artistic soul, of being afraid to ask for help when I'm lonely or really need some help, or of what people think of me. I think I have painted a picture of myself on Facebook and in interactions with people that I'm a tough cookie. Internally though? I want to be vulnerable. I want to live out loud. I want to embrace the things inside of me that are not meant to be dormant.

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