Wow. So....when I posted the last post, I didn't realize how long it would be until I actually did post again. I kept holding off...I missed blogging, but I'm a stickler on it being inspired.
You may remember when I posted in January of 2012 about juicing. Or not. ;) I went on a 3.5 day juice fast after watching the documentary film on Netflix - Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. It changed my life. It is still changing my life. I juiced regularly January and February of 2012. At some point, I stopped. What I do remember is about the third week in March, pain racked my body something horrible. I could not walk up and down our basement steps. I could not get on the floor with Bennett [who is now 2 days from being 20 months old!]. This frightened me.I was not myself...dealing with the physical pain and trying to get through with two little boys, I was cranky and inconsistent. I felt like an imposter had taken over my body. It was the hardest thing, with the pain, to muster up any interest in anyone else. I was obsessed with me. It took everything in me to attend commitments and I couldn't wait to leave or for company to leave because then I could turn off the fake smile and go lay down. I waited until April before making an appointment with our doctor. The tests showed high inflammation and high something or other signaling an auto immune something or other. He referred me to a rheumatologist, whom I may add, has been a royal pain in my butt because his bedside manner and compassion factor rival that of Simon Cowell. I felt like he was interested in labeling it and giving me a drug. The end. He labeled it fibromyalgia and gave me tramadol. The purpose of tramadol? To cause my mind to perceive the pain differently. It doesn't get to the source of the problem. It masks it. I was prescribed these pills in June. I tried them for a couple days and they made me so loopy that I refused to take them. I knew how to function with the pain and the boys and hubby's crazy schedule. I was not about to relearn how to function as one who felt drunk and buzzed while mothering and taking care of my family. I also am not a pill popper naturally. I have barely been on THE pill my whole life because I knew it wasn't my hormones in the pills...so I didn't want a synthetic or fake hormones either.
By August, I was encouraged to start taking the medicine, by family. They knew I wasn't me. So, I buckled down and struggled for almost 2 months of fog and funk ..and it did help the pain. I was glad to not have pain. I was also in the beginning of a weight loss journey. The end of June, I made a decision to start eating better and exercising. I started running. Weight was coming off fast and by November, I lost 40 lbs. Flare ups with fibromyalgia would still happen though. It was mostly triggered by stress and weather. I would endure flares, even while taking 400mg of tramadol/day. The rheumatologist was very pleased with my progress and could see the pain was MUCH less. The past month - 6 weeks has been rough because it's been damp, humid, rainy weather in Iowa. I had a 6 month check up with the rheumatologist and went in with an open mind and the belief that he was going to find me another solution besides tramadol. I believe I had endured some withdrawal from missing a couple doses of tramadol, scattered here and there. Twice in the middle of the night, I awoke in a clammy sweaty mess, limbs flailing uncontrollably. A third time was after lunch when I missed a dose at morning time...the muscles wanted to start shooting directions and I was clammy and sweaty. THIS is where the title of my post comes in....
I described this to the doctor and asked him if there was something else I could take that would not be so ... I don't know...addictive or intense on my system. He looked at me and said, "Tramadol is not giving you withdrawal. You are having panic attacks." I was so shocked at this that my filter evaporated and I looked at him and said, "bullshit." He replied, "Oh you know so much?" I squared up and looked in his eyes and said, "I know my own body." As they say in Star Wars, "Negotiations were short"..or something like that. His remedy: Take tramadol or have pain. Because he wouldn't prescribe a narcotic for chronic pain and I didn't need an anti-depressant. [No shit Sherlock. I don't want either of those either ...thanks for nothing.] I left incredibly frustrated. HERE is where frustration and anger are excellent motivators....I came home, hubby and I talked. I asked Steve, "Do you think it is possible that I determine I am not going to have this "disease" anymore and then I don't?" My darling Man of Men looked at me and said, "Yes." We made the decision and I was immediately reminded of the juice fast I did two Januarys ago and how after a few days of the fast, I had no pain. [At that point the pain had not been as crippling as it became later...nonetheless...I knew I didn't have it.] We went and got loaded up on all the necessary produce to start juicing. NOT a fast....yet. When I do a fast...I want to be prepared and not set myself up for mental failure.
This decision led me to watch the half dozen documentaries I had in my netflix queue for the past year and a half. My favorite? Food Matters. Watch it. My inspiration though is Fat, Sick or Nearly Dead.
Now...here's the other thing. Fibromyalgia is an auto-immune disease. The rheumatologist told me that it set in when I had sepsis infection, in my body, during the miscarriage of Levi. Why? Because my body was fighting the infection and the hospital was pumping me with 4 different IVs of antibiotics....it left my nerves...vulnerable - wide open. That is the doctor's answer. I will add, my body couldn't fight well either because I lacked nutrition ...and the pain manifested more and more because I wasn't nourishing my body nor dealing with stress properly, in the year and a half after that infection. Is this reversible? I absolutely believe so!
In 10 days of taking 2 juices a day, supplementing my regular diet and yes, still having a sugary something here and there....I have reduced my med dosage by one dose/day and have had no ill effects or "panic attacks". hee hee [couldn't resist.] I also have SO much more energy and am sleeping wonderfully at night. I haven't slept well ...in months and months. Juicing daily is a part of my lifestyle now.
My posts and the purpose of writing is now about eating real food and utilizing natural methods/ways/tools, to allow the Creator's glory to be shown through a vessel He created and designed perfectly....with the proper fueling and exercise and stress management. Am I naive? Yes! I wouldn't change a thing. Child-like faith is what we are encouraged to have. I have it. Will I say stuff that pisses people off? Probably. Is that my intention? No. I just want to be as real through this journey as possible. Will I have critics and those that want to advise me against this? Already have. I am determined to reverse fibromyalgia because I am not interested in being one of those pathetic, sick people on the stupid commercials relying on drugs to not even cure the root of the problem but to just exist. Malnutrition [more of us suffer from this than you think!] is the root of all kinds of ailments/diseases and disorders. I am responsible for my health. I want life abundant! I have an abundant life!
Please join me on this journey. We will be learning so much good together. I am no expert. The information is too good to not share and spread around....it's like evangelizing our community(ies) for real health.
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