Fashion

I have been really struggling with this topic –for 10 years. As a chubby woman, I gave up a long time ago on having my own style. Limited to plus size clothes has made it easy to shop at “Lane Giant” and convince myself that I walk out with outfits that speak to my own flair. In reality, I’m just wearing what every other fat chick has to walk out of the mall wearing. 

While I am very grateful to be expecting again, watching the scale climb back up where I don’t want to be..has been very frustrating. This baby has caused alterations in my structure that I didn’t know were possible.  It has been depressing to me. Before Sweet Pea’s pregnancy, I was making excellent progress in losing weight and clothes were becoming fun again. I was talking [actually I was whining] to my mom last night about how pants are impossible to find because I’m wide in the hips and very short in the legs. I love to wear dresses. I need to find a dress pattern and make about it in about 16 different colors for the summer. If I could get away with it, I would totally bring the June Cleaver collection back. I love petticoats and belts and pearls and aprons, pill box hats and gloves. In one last attempt this morning, I googled “maternity dresses”. A link caught my eye and I fell for the brilliant marketing of their name. I <3 words. Shabby Apple. Sounds yummy and sexy and clever, doesn’t it? While, I didn’t find anything that will help me, immediately. They do have MY style! SO…when Sweet Pea is a bundle in my arms, this website will be where I will want to shop. It gave me renewed hope and perspective this morning. I told mom last night, I just have to make the decision to be at peace with the work I’ve done, with weight and how it’s being undone by making Sweet Pea.  It’s all worth it. While my two boys, helped me lose weight during pregnancy, that’s not how this one is going and I’m going to be fine with it. In the meantime, check out www.shabbyapple.com . Tell me what you think! Have any of you shopped there before?

p.s. I painted my toenails for Easter Sunday. We will have our next ultrasound when Sweet Pea is 18 weeks years old, in my womb. I think about Levi often. I am elated for Sweet Pea, and I still miss my son I didn’t meet. My toenails look pretty and it’s so weird how such a think takes me right back to the saddest day and darkest season of my life.